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purplepinkskiesa few weeks ago, my sister received a positive result from her covid-19 test. so, of course, my parents and i had to quarantine, too. we all did okay, even if we ended up testing positive as well a few days later. we are almost completely recovered now, having endured the sickness with almost zero inconveniences. mostly, we've been left with more free time than expected.
as it happened the last time i was sick and at home, i accidentally binge-watched a netflix show in three days (last time, it was bridgerton, but meh that one didn't warrant a review for me) and this was it.
anyway
i guess the trailer doesn't look like anything new or interesting. i honestly just started watching because i couldn't stop the netflix autoplay soon enough, but it got a laugh out of me.
that's the main reason for me to write this: i had so much fun. i laughed, i remember many jokes now, and want to share this show with my friends so we can talk about it and scream at the characters.
but it also gave me so much more than i expected.
the main storyline of "never have i ever" revolves around devi vishwakumar, an indian girl, sophomore in high school, whose dad died from a heart attack in the middle of one of her band concerts the previous year. the impact was such that she lost all mobility in her legs for three months. once she was able to walk, she just started acting out and barely handling her temper. devi establishes a clear set of goals for herself at school: she was determined to no longer be a freak, she was going to be popular, and her friends were going to join in on that ride.
in her quest to get a hot boyfriend and her peers' acceptance, devi, predictably, ends up making many mistakes. throughout both seasons devi lets her emotions get the best of her, which leads to harsh, ridiculous and unintentionally hurtful decisions. in sum, she craves happiness in romance and external validation so that she can avoid thinking about her dad. her therapist is aware of this, but devi's antics always demand instant decision-making and advice --on top of devi's denial--, so they barely talk about her father's death at all.
the comedic episodes and teenage drama are deeply intertwined with devi's inability to grief her dad. he was her favourite person in the world. mohan was a sweet man, as we see him in every flashback from either devi's perspective or from her mother's, nalini.
the idea of losing a parent or a grandparent has loomed in the back of my mind for some time now, given all that's going on. i have never gotten along with my own father as well as devi got along with hers. i have never made reckless decisions that could have potentially ruined my relationships, as devi does repeatedly. but still, i felt connected to her, because apart from the unimaginable pain from losing the person she loved most, devi was profoundly insecure. scared. confused. everything was related to her dad's death, and it was made a million times worse by happening during her teenage years.
terrifying, honestly.
i have just been through the Unstoppable Nature of Human Mortality crisis. i don't think i have come to terms with it just yet, but i have walked through the worst of it. my family is as tight-knit as devi's, and the mere idea of losing any member of it has haunted me for the past months. the show hanged the imaginary question over my head again: "what would you do if either of your parents or your sister suddenly died?"
and then it showed me how devi dealt with it.
it was cathartic, to say the least. it was sweet and also unhinged, in devi's words. it is a tale of how teenage sadness and fear, both of which i assume we are all familiar with, can and should be soothed by the adults around us, because those feelings are so monumental to our identities. who we were in high school does matter, because that's where we rehearse for life.
i've read some reviews that said that the show made them cringe at some points. newsflash, critics, most of adolescence is spent cringing. i make myself cringe. my major criticism of the show has to do with its pacing at times, when it all seemed a bit too rushed, but the narrator for the story eased me through these bumps on the road. john mcenroe, devi's dad's favourite tennis player, is there to tells us the story and react to it with us. it's distinctly fresh how important he ends up being to me. he doesn't just judge devi's actions, instead, he offers a slightly more mature perspective of someone who's already been through the pains of growing up. he connects with her in that they both have had serious trouble dealing with their tempers, they are both "hotheads," which translates into the reluctant fondness he ends up having for her. and he's insanely funny, really, this screenplay is gold.
devi’s acting out culminates in season 2 with what happens with the new indian girl, aneesa (which is pretty messed up.) the writing does a great job of showing how devi’s behaviour is inexcusable while letting adults do the damage control once she apologises sincerely. it was very important to me that the adult characters, aka her mom and to some extent the principal in that case, took the floor to correct her and tried to help out aneesa when they found out: the girls had done as much as they could by themselves. the consequential decisions were just about to occur, and that is when adults were to put their well-beings first. it was overall a great sequence about the art of messing up and being mature and strong enough to own up to it and learn from it.
in the midst of the tempestuous time where devi and her family seemed to be stuck, we also see devi’s friends and family, and the boys she likes. i will talk only about the women. the women of this show are so great. ben and paxton become good boys, great boys, and i rooted for both of them at some point, but i really want to focus on the female characters that so strongly pulled at my hearstrings.
besides devi, we find her mom, nalini (whom with devi has constant misundertandings,) her cousin, kamala (whom devi is super jealous of because she is basically a model,) and her best friends, eleanor and fabiola (whom she neglects or hurts at different points in the show.) their relationships are not irrevocably severed, and there’s a fair amount of work put in the way devi is able to apologise and make up for her mistakes, especially regarding her friends. as with aneesa, the instances of regret, atonement and learning were handled with sensitivity and truthfulness in a carefully put together, flawed character.
nalini is the star of the show. it’s just amazing how she and devi have such similar tempers and YET don’t communicate at all for more than a good half of this show. nalini is tough, a successful professional woman, someone who triumphed in america despite all odds. someone who asked for help just to find herself lost again. someone who is dealing with grief and loneliness just as much as her daughter, and even then, neither of them is strong enough to meet the other halfway. the mother-daughter relationship, in the midst of all that pain, is so fragile, so volatile that anything sets them off. what makes them seek each other and lean on one another are those arguments and events so filled with raw emotions that they can’t help but break down. it’s then when they communicate, and it’s then when they understand the other a bit better. i can’t stop thinking about them, honestly.
fabiola and eleanor!!!!! friendship!!! female friendship!!!! they are so important to me. their individuals struggles are soooooo well developed, too, but the way in which they interacted with one another was so wonderful. i saw myself bantering with my friends, being weird only in their presence, opening up to them, coming out to them. i love how obvious it is that they must get along so well off-camera and that they clicked with each other so quickly (their twitter interactions are also adorable.) so yeah, more points to the show: the Friendship is gloriously represented. i will briefly comment on fabiola and her coming out story because it just hit too close to home. in every aspect, it felt very personal to me. her whole process was beautifully unfolded without fanfare, authenticly.
finally, probably my favourite character, kamala. she’s devi’s cousin who’s hot and gorgeous and doing a phd. so i am immediately in love with her. she’s innocently unaware of some american idiosyncrasies without making the comedy annoying or too on the nose because she’s innocent and pure in essence. for a side character, her growth is organic and filled with moments of realisation and action upon them. she’s caught up in an arranged marriage she obviously doesn’t want, and her love interests in california are not what she expects them to be. she’s downright adorable. she adds another generation’s interests to the show: the young adult perspective in pursuit of building a life for herself.
the show works on its relationships with that sort of comedy directed at the gen z, which i enjoyed way too much, with the mature crafting and writing (and narration!) of a more adult view. at some point, i thought to myself: i am 22 (or 23, or 24 now) why am i still stuck reading and consuming YA content? why am i not seeking fiction that revolve around “adult” issues and adult characters with “real world problems”? this show just reminded me of it. it doesn’t get old, the growing pains. a friend asked me, why does it all happen in high school? and i answered: the people just love a good coming of age story.
i can’t help but thinking about how much truth there is to that. as i grow up, YA and even middle grade books still fill me with the most joy. stories about children saving the world or coming to terms with how much they miss someone (and how much it can hurt to love someone that much,) still encapsulate to me the most wondrous parts of life within the most fantastic literature. as i grow up, i think i will continue to read and consume YA because remisniscing about youth, simpler times, old times, the happiest times, will always make me happy, in spite of everything.
